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15 April 2008 @ 07:39 pm
Soon, Soon My Pretties  
Sweet Digital Deities. This is like, version 37, I swear, but I've finally written an ending to Chapter 6 of Dark Masquerade that I like. Rae-chan has been awesome as sentence-fixer, sounding board, and all-around cheerleading goddess.

I still have yet to merge two different drafts and do general tidying, but we're that much closer to having a finished chapter.

Much love and thanks to everyone who's reviewed, nagged, and encouraged. The chapter's conclusion will be posted here on LJ first.



MediaMiner's changed their posting policies since I last updated... and I have to review what the new (to me) rules are regarding warning and slash/yaoi and whatnot. I've never agreed with their 'sex = hentai label' rule. FFN annoys me. I think I may wait on updating at an archive until August, when the OTW archive finally opens, and then announce that the only archive to have everything will be at OTW's. Frankly, I've never been happy with them since they axed accurately labeled adult content and I'm tired of sanitizing stories about adults in adult situations.
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Jamalyn: Stargate Catjamalyn on April 16th, 2008 09:31 pm (UTC)
Hehe, I've developed the bad habit of checking livejournal only about once every two weeks but still...my timing (as always) is perfect. :p So quit teasing. Post.


I've never been fond of MM.org. I have an account there (from when I first started checking out new nesting spots during the first FF.net debacle), but I never even finished moving all my fics over.

Truthfully (and yes, this is a corny thing to say) I was too hurt by FF.net to ever really want to post elsewhere, or rather, to trust posting elsewhere. FF.net in the old glory days was a fic writers’ paradise. Write as you please, rate as you please, format as you please, and yes, I think there were fewer trolls trolling about waiting to pounce on a writer's every little sensitivity. :) But as I've since seen elsewhere (livejournal pops to mind) when something becomes popular enough to garner any real attention (read: money making potential), the dregs are soon to follow.

Damn the ever snooping world.

Edited at 2008-04-16 09:37 pm (UTC)
Ice'is Blueice_is_blue on April 21st, 2008 06:24 am (UTC)
Dark Masquerade's Up for You :)
The 98.6% beta'd version is up under f-lock and I've added you to the list (of, now, two people). :D Enjoy.

*nods* That's actually why I'm very supportive of OTW. It's being incorporated as a non-profit entity with zero ads and the forethought that no stories will be rejected or removed. Ever. (Unless the author really, really wants it down.) But even then, they're coming up with a method of 'orphaning' stories, so that the story will still be there and links won't be broken, but the name will be stripped. They're also starting up an academic journal - Transformative Works and Cultures - so, it's all very spiffy. Multi-lingual interfaces. Lawyers on tap for fighting off take-down requests and fighting for fair-use rights. And participating as a writer = free. Voting membership = $10. Not bad at all.

(Ye, gods, the formatting rules on FFN! I can't have my *** at all! ADFSLJAD!!#!#$! -SO STUPID!-) *koff* You had to remind me?
Not literally, I mean, symbolically or somethingkowaiyoukai on April 26th, 2008 08:00 pm (UTC)
Okay, so I finished reading Dark Masquerade, through the part in chapter 6 where Yamato is about to open the door to where Taichi is, but he doesn't respond, you know what I'm talking about.

Overall, I have one general comment. This is not meant to be offensive, but rather a compliment. This story should be an original story, and not a fanfic. I got the feeling that you edited the characters personalities enough that, although they were still recognizable, with different names (and by changing the digimon to other animals or something) you could easily have an epic sort of story that a lot of genre romance-esque readers could take to.

I was often struck by the length of the descriptions and the amount of obvious detail and thought that went into this world. It seems to me to be a waste to just have it as an AU fic.

Well, that was my main thought while reading.

Other thoughts: I'm confused about how Yamato feels about Tai. It seems like he's alternating between hating him and being afriad of him. I didn't really get the sense that he liked him any more than as a master who was being kind to him. I like the subplot of Kou liking Tai, but I'd like to see more of it.

Also, overall I'm a bit confused about the major plotline. Maybe I'm just an idiot, but I didn't get why the digimon were supposed to be evil/bad. In fact, they seemed fairly IC and good, to me. *shrugs*
Ice'is Blueice_is_blue on April 27th, 2008 06:29 am (UTC)
Ack. Sorry, sorry. I got your other message and had something half-way written, but then the computer died and I never got back to it. The final sections for chapter six are on LJ...

http://ice-is-blue.livejournal.com/tag/dm
You should try to read them Part 2 through Part 5, I think. Part 5 is what killed me / is killing me. I've added you to the beta filter, so if you still can't see parts 4 and 5, let me know.

In reverse order to your comments, the whole digimon/plotline/etc. is going to be fleshed out in much more detail in the next chapter. But, to answer your question about the digimon, the ones we've seen thus far are the exception not the rule. Most of the digimon roaming around are more wild/rabid and will attack or feed on humans if given the opportunity.

I'm confused about how Yamato feels about Tai.

Yamato's confused about how he feels. And that would be okay if -I- was not confused about it. Except I am. And this has been a lingering known issue of mine with this story that I haven't been able to fix. Any suggestions or feedback you have is greatly welcome. My label for this problem is PMS!Yamato. Rae was telling me that the last bits of Part 5 for chapter six has PMS!Taichi. (The hysteria is spreading?)

Finally... making Dark Masquerade orific. Back when I started writing this story (half a decade ago ^^V), I couldn't separate my awesome storyline from the digimon of Digimon. I even got university credit for writing part of it, and the professor encouraged doing it as original fiction... and I couldn't wrap my head around it.

Five years later, I can -totally- see the original fiction aspect of the story. And I've been thinking about doing exactly that for, oh, the past six months. My main thought regarding swapping out the digimon was to have them be extraterrestrials. And not necessarily animal-shaped.

So... on that note.... I'm thinking that if I were to convert this to original fiction, I'd want to do it in prep for possible publication. And that would mean that Dark Masquerade would have to be pulled down from FFN and MediaMiner and the website, and exist solely under f-lock on LJ.

Chapter Seven, the next one to be written, is really where the Digimon portion really starts to hammer into the story. And if I have an alien race instead, the natural course of plot is going to deviate very wildly from where the digimon!plot was headed.

Which would mean, I'd be less inclined to continue writing the fanfic version, since I'd essentially have to write two different novels.

I know I have a dozen or so die-hard readers... but really, I'm thinking that folks wouldn't put up much of a fuss if it got pulled and the fanfic aspect canceled.

/rambling
Not literally, I mean, symbolically or something: mileskowaiyoukai on April 28th, 2008 11:09 pm (UTC)
Okay, I'll have to go back and read the new parts later, maybe this weekend.

Okay, thanks for clearing up the confusion about the digimon. B/c I got the idea they were supposed to be awful monsters, but I wasn't seeing it. Maybe you could show some digimon ravaging the countryside or something? :P

Hm, I kind of thought you were confused about how Yamato feels towards Tai. I don't know, I just got that vibe. Well, here's the way I see it, if it's any help: Yamato couldn't ever love Tai the way things are now. He was looking at Tai as a breath of fresh air, a good memory to hold against the torture that was to come, except now that he knows the truth he's probably thinking that everything Tai has said to him so far has been a lie. I know I would be thinking that. I mean, how can Yamato trust anything Tai has to say when Tai has been lying to him all along? It puts a huge problem in the way of them getting together--because now, Yamato can't know for sure if Tai is telling the truth or not about anything.

So, first things first, I think, would be getting Yamato to trust Tai again. How? I'd start with Tai feeling really guilty about the whole thing and wanting to let Yama in on his whole operation. Kou objects, Tai overrules, Yama is made a part of the freeing-slaves thing. Then, I'd have a few scenes where Yama is figuring out that Tai is really just inept at dealing with people, since he hasn't been involved with anyone else besides Kou and Hikari, he has no idea how to act. So, Yama could start to soften to him through that observation, and realize that Tai probably did do what he thought was best, even though he was wrong and it dehumanized Yama. You could go a number of ways from there, I think.

Anyway, that's kind of how I see the next part playing out, if you want them to end up in a loving relationship together. If not, scratch the above and have Tai keep Yama locked up naked all the time. I TOTALLY see Tai's reasoning there. TOTALLY.

But yes, orific. DO IT. This story is not even close to being so intertwined with Digimon that you'd lose it if you took the digimon elements out. In fact, I think you'd get rid of a lot of what's holding you back and be able to grasp onto some other elements that have only been briefly stated. Also, it could be way less confusing than it is now.

What it comes down to is the direction you want to take it. My vote: go with orific, take out at least half of the main characters (unless there's some reason to be following so many people so closely--it's unnecessarily confusing, I think), I'd vote against aliens unless you're making this WAY future (then it's fine), otherwise maybe sentient animals? Like, animals that can talk and think and are tired of being ordered about by weak humans with their opposable thumbs? :P Then, it could be a kind of war for the control of earth, which is way more entertaining than the "free the slaves" thing you've got going on so far.

Not that you should scratch the slaves but, but you could completely have there be two major plot arcs and switch between them as you go. So far, I'm only getting the sense you've got another plot for the digi-destined, but it's not clear and it comes off as being more... pretentious (maybe?) than anything else. As in, the only reason you have all of these characters and that there's another, hidden, plot is because they're the main characters from Digimon. Otherwise, you'd be able to get rid of them and focus on whatever it is you really wanted to focus on.

At least, that's the kind of feeling I got. :P
Ice'is Blueice_is_blue on April 29th, 2008 12:24 am (UTC)
The plot doesn't seem entangled in Digimon thus far, mostly because all that stuff is coming up in the next chapter. This story's plotted out to have 18 chapters and things explode into motion starting with chapter seven. This first third of the book has been focused on building up situations and characters.

The plot's not nearly so much about freeing slaves as it is about mask -- lies we tell ourselves and each other.

That said, none of that precludes me from doing this as original fiction.

My authorial tendency has been, and probably always will be, to have a large cast and multiple plot-threads and subplots going on at the same time. I prefer stories like that, and while it's difficult to do well, it's not unheard of in published fiction.

And I think I sorted the alien issue last night, so I'm good on that.

Thanks for sharing your thoughts, and if you have a chance to look at the next two parts that are posted, that'd be brilliant.
roderickwallon on October 9th, 2008 05:19 pm (UTC)
", and he gives a knowing wink, and he says "Disneyworld", but you know what he's thinking. As for me, my brother says I look like a football coach.
(Anonymous) on May 20th, 2008 04:17 am (UTC)
Reading some of your comments and stuff has me wanting to add my thoughts as well. First of all, since you started writing this story I've graduated high school, got married, had a baby (now two years) moved to another city, and am looking into starting a career. I've just turned 23 years old. I want to read more of what you have written for the same reason that I kept my nose in Interview with a Vampire, Perfume, and such. A good book you just can't put down. I love the detail in which you put into your story, the beautiful description , in depth characterization, the human emotion that is so hard to express in writing in which you can.

As a professional author, you can make it, I'm sure...

Your confusion in Yamato's emotion helps express his confusion even more. I think I could see Yamato falling for Taichi though the feeling may be more due to the... I can't remember what it's called right now but it's when someone is held in captivity by another and begins building a bond with that person. Psychiatrist explain it better then me. Either way that emotion is real for whatever reason it began.

Yamato's pride, his embarrassment, would hold his heart back. Memories of what he did with someone who had lied to him, shamed him... Anger would be an emotion to cover another I bet.

The bond he had formed with Taichi because of his imprisonment (The Psychiatrist term I can't remember) would prevent his hatred towards Taichi when it comes to terms of Taichi torturing Iori; that, I think would be the bombshell. Yamato's pride seems to be no match for his heart.

From what it seems Iroi is still alive and if he is then in time things can be made right.

Also, the fact that Taichi and Yamato will be forced to fight side by side to save the world would be enough to push the two together romantically since they already feel that way for each other. (Mind I mention on second thought that most of all relationships begin on sexual attraction which is no different here. I mention that to avoid skepticism I guess. Basically if someone was to argue that Yamato carries no feelings beyond that I argue back that, often, that is enough to form foundation.)

Romantically things have a foundation to form between the two of them with time. The suggested plot will give plenty of opportunity, or so it seems to me.

Because your feeling confused I'll let you know what I think Yamato will feel. Heavily opinionated: Yamato cares for Taichi, he promised Taichi that he'd keep him safe and feels obligated by that promise. He wants to hate him, is angry at himself and at Taichi because he can't. If he's all PMS-y to Taichi then he'll probably give him a cold shoulder for a while or something... I'm curious, what will he do?

I'd love to know, can't wait to know but will wait patiently.

The number of characters is a personal choice, not given to you by the show. You chose how many characters you want to use and for what reasons. The fun of Fan fiction: Not having to do as the producers or creators want.

Also about making this an original story: First of all I'd buy it if you do. I enjoy your story greatly. Downside of doing so is changing a lot of what was already plotted, it could take you a while and never become finished, but the encouragement of a paycheck may help. In the end it's all up to you.
Favorably I'd like for you to keep it as such because then I might not have to wait as long. read it as the chapters get done.

Whatever you choose, it's your decision though I hope I can read some more soon.
I hope I came off as positive as I wanted to be. mainly I just wanted to tell you that you rock and seem to me to be on the right track to me.
Ice'is Blueice_is_blue on October 10th, 2008 01:09 am (UTC)
Golly, I'm so sorry for not replying earlier. Your words were very encouraging and helped me sort my head out. :D

Stockholm syndrome is what you're thinking of.

At this point, all of chapter six has been posted and I've moved on to seven and beyond. The original fiction angle is still on the table, but I'm not quite ready to give up on the fanfic. I do think fanfiction is worthy of being written in its own right. So, I'll keep at that for a while yet.

Thanks a million for putting your thoughts to "paper" so eloquently and for sticking by the fic for so long. (And congrats on the toddler and career!)

~ Ice'is Blue